My sincere apologies for publishing a blog post hot on the heels of the last one, it wasn’t my intention. I wanted to write something about Black Friday and had a few ideas jiggling about in my head but I thought it was next Friday, not today! Just shows how much notice I take of these things . . . which is the point of the post, really.
It will come as no surprise to regular readers to hear that Black Friday is not my cup of tea, quite the opposite, in fact. It never fails to amaze me how it became such an event and I think the predictable footage of people rushing about like headless chickens grabbing so-called bargains off shelves is a terrible and achingly sad indictment of modern society. Those visible shoppers are, of course, only the tip of the iceberg: a few clicks of a mouse or taps on a screen will see millions of parcels winging their way into homes in the coming days in a mass outbreak of consumerism and instant gratification. It is the antithesis of my way of life so I deal with it by simply ignoring it; I appreciate that might seem a bit hypocritical given I’ve chosen to write a blog post about it, but I hope you’ll get my meaning. However, I’m not going to criticise, rant, rail, moan or preach but rather apply a bit more ‘abundance thinking’ in suggesting a few positive ways of greeting the day. I’ve never been a fan of black, I am an unapologetic lover of colour so let’s paint some rainbows . . .
Ignore it. Pay no attention to adverts wherever they pop up; it’s simple enough to apply adblockers to devices, switch the television off or walk away when ads appear (or, in our case, don’t even have a television, it is the most liberating thing ever), turn away from posters, promotions and the like in shops. We don’t need to be sucked in by the power and persuasion of the marketing industry. We can say no.
Reject it. I don’t have a lot of newsletters and notifications coming into my inbox but anything that has appeared in the last couple of weeks offering Black Friday bargains has been immediately deleted. I’m very disappointed in some organisations (who should know better than jumping on the bandwagon) to the point that I’ve unsubscribed to their news. Sorry, but I’m not playing the game.
Think need not greed. This is so simple. Do I need to buy anything new? No. Does anyone I know need me to buy something new for them? No again. End of story. My ancient hairdryer finally gave up the ghost last week; it was manufactured for planned obsolescence, of course, but being married to an engineer with the tools to bypass weird screws and fix or rebuild a piece of electronic equipment has lengthened its life considerably. This time, however, it’s beyond repair so is heading to an appropriate recycling point and I’ve decided not to replace it because when I really got down to it, I don’t need another one. My hair is very thick and takes several hours to dry naturally which can be a problem, especially if I have to go out somewhere or to bed. Well, permies like to say the problem is the solution so I tied my long locks back into a pony tail and chopped the lot off into a short bob. That’ll fix it!
Try an attitude of gratitude. There is much research and reporting at the moment about how expressing gratitude is one of the most positive things we can do in our lives in terms of promoting well-being for ourselves, others and the world in general. ‘Thank you’ is such an easy thing to say and when we really start to think about all that we have, all the blessings in our life whether material or otherwise, it shifts our focus away from the wants and constant striving for more. It’s not always an easy thing to do, especially when we are suffering in some way, but it can still be a positive action even then. In the darkest days of my back pain last year, when gritted teeth, tears and frustration were something of a default mode, I found that thinking about all the good things in my life ~ a wonderful husband caring for me so lovingly, the wider circle of family and friends giving their support, a safe, comfortable home, good food, clean water, an excellent health service, the beauty of nature all around me ~ helped me greatly in coping with the situation. Pour a glass of water, brew a cuppa, take a bite out of an apple, look fondly at your hands, take a deep breath or do any other simple, familiar thing, then give thanks for such a wonderful gift.
Embrace pre-loved. Avoiding Black Friday and consumerism in general isn’t too difficult for me because I despise shopping and only ever do it when necessary. Fashion, fast or otherwise, passes me by. I’m not into gadgets and gizmos, so I have no interest in buying them at all, yet alone hankering after the latest upgrades. Almost every piece of furniture and book in our house is secondhand. My shoe collection, that famous female shopping weak spot, runs to one pair each of wellies, walking boots, winter boots and sandals. When I buy anything these days (apart from underwear) it is secondhand, those pre-loved bits and pieces that I am happy to give a new home to in the name of supporting a circular economy. For ‘Rainbow Friday’, I will be wearing a pair of cotton chinos and a colourful pure wool jumper, bought from the charity shop for the princely sum of four euros for both and looking like they have hardly, if ever, been worn. Let’s be brave, individual, unique, creative, quirky, eccentric, outrageous (you choose, it’s your joy!) and develop our own sartorial style without buying into the dictates of the fast fashion industry. There’s so much fun to be had.
Enjoy the gift of giving. What difference would it make today if instead of getting, folks concentrated on giving? There are so many ways in which we can channel our surplus to help others, whether it’s donating money to charities and good causes, giving pre-loved bits and bobs for resale, giving our time and energy as volunteers or simply reaching out with anything we can offer. Time, help, knowledge, skills, support, listening, empathy, stories, songs . . . we all have so much we can give, things that cost nothing but which are in their own ways priceless.
Do something creative. Human beings are incredibly imaginative and creative, two talents that are woefully wasted when the focus is on buying stuff. Why not try to do just one simple creative thing today? It doesn’t mean you need lots of arty, crafty materials, either (although if you have them and feel inspired, dive in) as you can be creative in the simplest of ways wherever you happen to be: take a piece of scrap paper and try folding it into something interesting, write your name then embellish the letters, mess about with paperclips, pegs, pebbles . . . Try experimenting with different fillings or construction techniques for your lunchtime sandwich or cut it into crazy shapes. Your imagination is the limit and whatever you make, it’s more rewarding than shopping. Honestly.
Go wild. The benefits of spending time outdoors and connecting with the natural world have become so mainstream now that doctors in the UK are prescribing such time in nature as a treatment for various ailments. It’s nothing new, of course, since in other ages and cultures, the importance of our connection with the natural world has been a fundamental and integral part of society but I’m thrilled to see the movement growing and reaching out to more and more people. Forestry England has created eighteen wellbeing trails with the express purpose of encouraging people to find healing, inspiration and wonder as they wander through the woods and there are similar schemes elsewhere, including in urban areas where ‘nature’ might not be so immediately obvious. You don’t have to go out and hug a tree today but it’s perfectly OK if that’s what you fancy doing; even the simplest of connections ~ picking up a leaf or feather, turning over a stone, looking deep into a pine cone, stroking a houseplant (or maybe just talking to it if it’s a seriously spiky cactus), splashing in a puddle, staring at the sky ~ can bring powerful feelings of calm, peace, contentment and happiness.
Connect with others. The web of relationships we have with others is more precious than anything we can buy. Modern technology has led to fast and furious communication but how about making one slower, more meaningful contact with someone today? A phone or video call where we promise to listen more than we talk, an exchange of chatty emails, a good old-fashioned hand-written card or letter sent by snail mail? A smile and greeting to a stranger, a brief friendly exchange we wouldn’t normally make the effort to do? Talking about the weather is an old British chestnut, but it’s better than shunning someone; such little gestures, those random acts of kindness and connection, have the power to make days and move mountains.
Learn something new. Something important I’m learning from my SaySomethingin Welsh course apart from the language itself, is the incredible capacity of the human brain to learn new things; the course approach is based on fascinating scientific research which is shared with learners and helps to dispel many myths about learning, although I appreciate that being told to make mistakes, drop perfection and welcome frustration pushes a lot of people out of their comfort zone. It banishes they idea of ‘I can’t’ and replaces it with something far more positive, so that stating that I can’t draw is turned round to an acknowledgement that with the right support, encouragement, tools, time and application, I could learn to draw. Every new thing we learn creates a new neural pathway which in turn helps to keep our brain active and mental faculties sharp; if time spent surfing the internet for bargain buys was redirected into learning instead, just imagine what could be achieved! There’s no need for special or expensive resources either, since you could try learning to whistle, juggle, tie complicated knots or say ‘thank you’ in several new languages with the simplest of materials to hand. That said, one of the biggest consequences of excessive consumerism is the amount of ‘stuff’ left languishing in attics and garages, bought at the outset of a new hobby or project which ran out of steam very quickly. Perhaps today is the day to blow the dust off that guitar, home gym, paint brush, crochet hook, wood chisel or whatever and reignite the interest, excitement and anticipation that led to those things being bought in the first place?
Do something to make you or others smile. There is a plethora of reports and studies pointing to the fact that the pleasure gained from buying things is fleeting, lasting from a few hours to a few days at best. True happiness comes from many other diverse things and it is those we ought to be focusing on. We all have memories that make us smile whether because they are lovely, celebratory, life-affirming or just downright funny but simply thinking about them causes us to lift the corners of our mouth and release a wave of warmth and well-being. I’m not a film buff by any means but one of my favourite scenes ever comes from The Full Monty when the chaps break into a spontaneous dance routine in the dole queue; it never fails to make me smile and leads me to wonder how we could send out ripples of joy in our daily lives? Now obviously, I’m not suggesting that you start a Conga down the aisles of your local supermarket or an impromptu Macerena in the bus queue but actually, wouldn’t that be fun? When we collected Sam and Adrienne from the train station in Le Mans in September, I was really impressed to see a piano in the waiting area, with a note (no pun intended) on it inviting passengers to play. What creative thinking! So, go ahead: have a giggle, chuckle, titter, chortle, laugh or whatever floats your funny boat. It’s free, renewable and the very best of medicines.
If you are planning to focus on buying into all those bargains today, then please go ahead and enjoy it because nothing I say is going to make any difference. However, if you’re looking for a different path then consider the great abundance that is there for us, the wealth and riches that don’t come packaged or with a price tag. We are intelligent beings and we can choose how to behave; being social creatures doesn’t make us mindless herd animals, after all. We can grant ourselves permission to buck the trend if we want to, to free ourselves of the tyranny of consumerism even if others think we’re weird. (I quite like being weird, actually: the word originally meant ‘having the power to control destiny’ which I think is pretty appropriate seeing I’m trying to leave a beautiful planet for future generations). We don’t have to be slaves to fashion or fads, to line the pockets of big business or spend money on stuff just because of a meaningless date in the calendar. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all a very lovely day full of colour and happiness . . . and if you do decide to instigate a group dance in public, please post a video! 😉